Now that we’re 24 episodes old, it’s time we thought about sharing our love with someone new. Adoption or threesome, either way works for us. REVIEWED: Orphan. PLUS: Amy Adams in a goatee.
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We whip out some occlumency in an attempt to divine how Michael Gambon ever got cast as Dumbledore. REVIEWED: Six Harry Potter films. PLUS: Chris Columbus: Overrated? Underrated? Rated appropriately?
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This week, Michael Mann proves to film students everywhere that he’s one of them by making a long, rambling, plotless crime drama on DV. Except his stars Johnny Depp. REVIEWED: Public Enemies. PLUS: Newsies!
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It’s thirty minutes of bile, robots, and the most anyone’s ever talked about Shia LaBeouf in one sitting. REVIEWED: Transformers, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. PLUS: Someone’s more racist than Logan!
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It’s our 20th episode and we mostly talk about soda. REVIEWED: Year One. PLUS: Our early years as IMDb contributors revealed.
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The debut of a brand new feature: the Critical Hit! Critical Hits will be shorter than our regular shows and probably not about a new movie, but something a bit looser or more topical. Like a television show with a recently aired finale. Or in the case of Harper’s Island, a television show with a finale that had recently aired before we took forever to release this episode. Still…Critical Hit!
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I hear that train a’comin’ / It’s comin’ round the hill / I hope that is my train / I’d better check my schedule / Oops, that was the train to Appleton / but it’s going to Circle Pines / And I’ve got about another 20 minutes to kill / It’s a good thing I brought some magaZINES. REVIEWED: The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (1974), The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 (2009). PLUS: Singing?
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It's almost this draining to watch.
Did you know professional wrestlers use razor blades to surreptitiously slice bloody gashes into themselves during a live match? Did you further know that Mickey Rourke actually did this for The Wrestler? I mean actually cut his forward with a real razor blade for a scene. Were you additionally aware that Mickey Rourke is both insane and awesome?
I wanted to see this during Oscar week, but I only had time for the best picture nominees. Big mistake on my part. Rourke is just as compelling as Sean Penn is in Milk, but The Wrestler is free of that film’s obvious Oscar pandering. It’s a rare character piece that still remembers to have a strong narrative, as well as supporting characters that feel as real as our hero (Marisa Tomei is especially noteworthy as are her breasts). It’s sad and funny and definitely worth your time.
It’s also a little predictable and a bit too heavy-handed at times, but what are you going to do?
Rating: 
8 out of 10
Ryan Reynolds has just gone from “actor whose agent says they like comics to up their geek cred” to “actual factual capes and cowls fan” in my book.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine managed to waste both Deadpool as a character and Reynolds as an actor, but Reynolds has apparently insisted that the spin-off movie stick close to the source material, specifically Deadpool’s fourth-wall-breaking awareness that he’s in a work of fiction. Combine this with the speculation that the albino thing at the end of Wolverine was in fact a clone of Deadpool and not the real deal (meaning we can happily ignore it going forward) and we may actually get an excellent cinematic take on one of my favorite characters.
[Via /Film]
This is a production shot from The International. Notice Naomi Watts standing next to Clive Owen.
This is the DVD art for The International. Notice Naomi Watts standing next to the terrifying Jim Henson Workshop version of Shia LaBeouf.
We unlock the conspiracy behind how the same two guys can write both Reno 911! and Herbie Fully Loaded. REVIEWED: Night at the Museum, Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian. PLUS: Racism!
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This week, we’re pulled in two directions. REVIEWED: Drag Me to Hell, Up. PLUS: Critical End!’s first ever contest, your chance to win FABULOUS* PRIZES!
(*Prizes not actually fabulous.)
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Bryan Singer loves the X-Men almost as much as he loves making out with Frank Langella. And that's A LOT.
Well, okay, he doesn’t say that exactly. But when asked about the third X-film, which Brett Ratner directed while he was doing Superman Returns, Singer replied “It’s weird for me to watch it, because I’m so close to the universe. And also Brett is a good friend of mine. But, of course, I would love to return to that universe.” That sounds like disappointment to me.
He goes on to say he’d be interested in doing another X-Men film. To which I said, in a recent interview, “Yes please.” Too bad all the interesting characters are dead, depowered, or wussies now. Thanks, Ratner.
Wash day tomorrow? Nothing clean, right? REVIEWED: The Terminator, Terminator 2: Judgement Day, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, Terminator Salvation.
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It’s attached to Up, as everyone expected, and it’s looking good, as everyone also expected. No word on who’s doing Slinky Dog now that Jim Varney’s no longer with us. Maybe he’ll be mute like Rowlf was for years after Jim Henson died.
But the biggest question mark for me is the plot. Apparently it’s something about the toys being sent to a daycare when Andy goes to college. So they’ve done “Woody feels unloved” and “Buzz feels unloved” and now they’re just doing “Everybody feels unloved?” Eh, it’s Pixar. It’ll still be awesome.
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