I think South Park said it best: “There’s a time and place for everything- and it’s called college.” The following movies are the finest examples of why this statement is true. They’re also insanely funny, highly quotable, and will hopefully remind you why it was worth the money you’re still paying on those student loans.
5. National Lampoon’s Van Wilder (2002) “Crazy kids with their crazy VDs.”
-Van Wilder Allow me to be honest: National Lampoon’s Van Wilder has an incredibly weak script, a finale that revolves around lots of pooping, and the “acting” ability of one Ms. Tara Reid. But you know what?  It’s easy to forget about all of that when you have Ryan “I swear I’m not Chevy Chase” Reynolds as your title character. This was the role that finally brought him to Hollywood’s attention and it saves what otherwise would have been yet another straight to DVD National Lampoon film. Rating: 7 out of 10Â
4. National Lampoon’s Animal House (1978) “Grab a brew. Don’t cost nothin’.”
-Bluto
There’s really not much I can say about this film that you don’t already know. If you went to college/been within 20 feet of a college/heard of the word “college” before, then you’ve most likely already seen this film more times than you care to mention. What can I say?  It’s a classic. Rating: 7 out of 10
3. The Rules of Attraction (2002) “He’s not OD-ing. He’s a freshman. Freshmen don’t OD.”
-Paul Denton Chances are that you’ve never heard of Roger Avary, which is a shame.  Here’s what you don’t know: He’s the other guy who won the Best Original Screenplay Oscar for Pulp Fiction.  Yeah, he could have cashed in on the  Tarantino name for years to come, but he chose instead to take his career as a writer/director in a different direction when he adapted Bret Easton Ellis’ satirical 1987 novel. Unlike the other films on this list, this is not a college movie about the goofy guy with the wacky friends that gets the girl in the end…this is a film about the people you tried your best to avoid in college. Oh, and as long as you’re not easily offended, it’s also damn funny.
 Rating:  8 out of 10   Â
2. Slackers (2002) “I like you. I’ll probably give you a nickname.”
-Cool Ethan I always thought that this would be one of those little seen comedies that would slowly build a large underground following, much like Office Space. Seven years later (and a 4.8 average rating on IMDB) and I’m still wondering when it’s going to happen. The biggest problem that people seem to have with this movie is that Jason Schwartzman is not acting like he’s in a Wes Anderson film. Unlike Anderson, it’s obvious that the director of Slackers just let Schwartzman go nuts with the character. That, combined with Critical End! fav Devon Sawa and a large cast of people you’ll recognize from the late 90’s, make this a must see. Oh,and good luck getting this Schwartzman written closing tune out of your head:
Rating:Â Â 8 out of 10Â
1. Dead Man on Campus (1998) “You can’t be suicidal if you’re singing show tunes!”
-Cooper Looking back, it seems like it was one of those all too rare nights when the comedy gods were on my side: It was my second night of college life. I was in an entirely new world surrounded by strange people and experiences which I was totally unprepared for…when suddenly this movie came on TV and taught me everything I would need to know about the next few years. Simply put, Dead Man on Campus is the greatest film about college life ever made. It’s one of those sneaky films that you’ll find yourself quoting for months after and wanting to watch again and again. While the very funny and original script is to blame for much of this, it’s really hard to mention this movie without bringing up the fact that it should have launched Mark Paul Gosselaar’s post Saved by the Bell career. This is definitely one of those “time and place” movies, the likes of which we may not see again for a long time. Rating:  9 out of 10
Okay, now it’s your turn. Agree? Disagree? Let me know what I missed.
Landis is finally returning to the big screen with the tale of Burke and Hare, two 19th century Irish murders that I recall reading about in this fantastic book. They killed people for the purpose of selling their cadavers to Edinburgh University, and although they got away with it for a year, they were fairly sloppy and obvious about it.
Lots of comic potential there, and I can’t think of anyone better suited to star than Simon Pegg who Landis has apparently secured for either Burke or Hare. No word yet on whether their going the obvious route and grabbing Nick Frost too, but I can’t say I’d be disappointed. Either way, this sounds like a perfect comeback movie for Landis.
Wait, what?! Robert Zemeckis is mo-capping his own version of Yellow Submarine? That’s like Joe Dante making a claymation version of The Monkees’ Head. And motion-caputre? So this time we can truly appreciate the performances of not-the-Beatles? Granted, the Fab Four weren’t very involved in the original either, but that really seems like a film of it’s time to me.
Yes these still exist. And while I prefer stadium seating, it was surprisingly nostalgic to watch a film in an old sloped-floor theater like the heady days of my youth. Of course, I hate to admit that these days I’m most likely to skip the theater entirely in favor of my living room, which usually has far fewer tweens on their cell phones. Excluding my weekly iCarly parties.
On a semi-related note, you’ll notice that the theater was advertising this week’s live Rifftrax event. Three MST3K alumni goofing on Plan 9 From Outer Space, broadcast simultaneously to theaters across the country. We’re living in the not too distant future, kids.
You know what? It’s time to take back comedy, damn it. No longer will we allow Hollywood to force feed us whatever mediocre new film Judd Apatow is producing! No longer will we listen to any Radiohead listening, PBR sucking hipster explain the brilliance of Bill Murray! It’s time to take a stand! You hear me people?! Who’s with me? LET’S GO!
Hello?
Well, if there’s anybody still reading, that time has come. And by “that time” I mean the return of one Mr. Cornelius Crane Chase. A second coming has been predicted for some time now (your pals here at Critical End! are still trying to figure out why Vegas Vacation didn’t work like it was supposed to), and it looks like it’s going to come from both your TV and local cinema. Take that, Murray!
First off, if you haven’t heard of Community yet, you obviously haven’t been hanging out with me for the past six months. Check out this NBC promo for the scoop. It’s packed with lots of Chevy goodness!
That’s a start in the right direction! But I know you…now you’re thinking, “Gee, Logan, that’s swell and all, but where’s the R-rated Chevy that I’ve heard tale of? Also, you’re ever so handsome.” Whoa. Settle down there, ladies. For those of you who want to see Chevy return to his R-rated roots, check out this teaser for Hot Tub Time Machine!
Granted, Chevy is no where to be seen in this teaser, but do you really want to turn down the chance to see John Cusack and Chevy in the same movie? I think not!
Did you know professional wrestlers use razor blades to surreptitiously slice bloody gashes into themselves during a live match? Did you further know that Mickey Rourke actually did this for The Wrestler? I mean actually cut his forward with a real razor blade for a scene. Were you additionally aware that Mickey Rourke is both insane and awesome?
I wanted to see this during Oscar week, but I only had time for the best picture nominees. Big mistake on my part. Rourke is just as compelling as Sean Penn is in Milk, but The Wrestler is free of that film’s obvious Oscar pandering. It’s a rare character piece that still remembers to have a strong narrative, as well as supporting characters that feel as real as our hero (Marisa Tomei is especially noteworthy as are her breasts). It’s sad and funny and definitely worth your time.
It’s also a little predictable and a bit too heavy-handed at times, but what are you going to do?
Ryan Reynolds has just gone from “actor whose agent says they like comics to up their geek cred” to “actual factual capes and cowls fan” in my book.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine managed to waste both Deadpool as a character and Reynolds as an actor, but Reynolds has apparently insisted that the spin-off movie stick close to the source material, specifically Deadpool’s fourth-wall-breaking awareness that he’s in a work of fiction. Combine this with the speculation that the albino thing at the end of Wolverine was in fact a clone of Deadpool and not the real deal (meaning we can happily ignore it going forward) and we may actually get an excellent cinematic take on one of my favorite characters.
2. If you’re going to reference the fact that this is the fourth movie in a series that started ten years ago, why not just call it em>Final Destination 4? My guess? They lost count.
3. “Death saved the best…..FOR 3D!” may be one of the best tag lines ever.
4. NASCAR?! I mean…really? I guess after the roller coaster opening of the third film (meaning that there actually WAS a roller coaster. It wasn’t that exciting), the series had no where else to go except to the thrilling world of NASCAR.
5. NASCAR again. Not to keep driving this point home (pun intended. Zing!), but isn’t this pretty much the same opening as Final Destination 2? You know, the one with all of the cars on the interstate? I think it is. In fact, it looks to me like they just took that opening and CG’d some NASCAR logos in. LAME.
Yes, that is a picture of me at the height of my "all brown" phase.
Here’s a fun one from back in the day: Remember Stretch Armstrong? Was he one of the coolest toys on the block or what? Next to my sisters’ Lite-Brite (which I only admitted recently to playing with when they weren’t around), Mr. Armstrong was one of the greatest things ever. What kid doesn’t want to own a toy that leaks some strange yellowish goo when it breaks? In fact, the only thing more awesome was Stretch Armstrong’s dog, Fetch Armstrong. Why? Well, for one the name alone was freakin’ genius. See how Fetch rhymes with Stretch? I hope they gave some guy over at Hasbro Toys the rest of the day off for that one. And two: He was a weiner dog! Now THAT’S a toy worth stretchin’!
The real news here is that they’re making a Stretch Armstrong movie because we all remember how great the toy was. I mean, let’s face it: That’s the only reason you bought a ticket to Transformers, wasn’t it? The answer is yes.
Full story (along with a listing of the other upcoming Hasbro films) can be found here.
