Wait, what?! Robert Zemeckis is mo-capping his own version of Yellow Submarine? That’s like Joe Dante making a claymation version of The Monkees’ Head. And motion-caputre? So this time we can truly appreciate the performances of not-the-Beatles? Granted, the Fab Four weren’t very involved in the original either, but that really seems like a film of it’s time to me.
[/Film]
The Mars Movie Database is nowhere near as awesome.
Let’s face it: IMDB.com is awesome. Where else can you confirm that Chevy Chase did indeed star in eight episodes of a Swedish TV show called Hjälp!? However, IMDB also has a dark, dark, I’m talkin’ pitch black side as well…and it’s called the “Movie/TV News” section. What follows are a few actual headlines from the last few hours. You’ve been warned.
Monkey Goes Ape on Biggs
It was a lot like that movie Congo, except you were rooting for the monkeys.
Brody Eyed Fox Flash
A lot of times with these IMDB headlines, I find it more fun to just skip over the story and try to guess what it might be about based on the headline. Here’s what I think: Roy Scheider’s character from Jaws loves to watch FOXnews.
(UPDATE: As it turns out, this is a story about Megan Fox’s boobs! A must read!)
and finally…
Bacall Blasts Twilight Vampires
Okay, so this is actually an interesting one. It would seem that film legend Lauren Bacall didn’t like Twilight. Here’s what she had to say about it on Twitter:
Yes, I saw Twilight – my granddaughter made me watch it, she said it was the greatest vampire film ever. After the ‘film’ was over I wanted to smack her across her head with my shoe, but I do not want a (tell-all) book called Grannie Dearest written on me when I die. So instead I gave her a DVD of Murnau’s 1922 masterpiece Nosferatu and told her, ‘Now that’s a vampire film!’ And that goes for all of you! Watch Nosferatu instead!
Wait wait wait. Lauren Bacall has a Twitter account?! Did I read that right?! I don’t even have a Twitter account! My God, man! The woman was born in 1924! IMDB, I think you missed the real news story here.
Have a great week, folks.
Do not pass go. Do not collect 100 Nazi scalps. REVIEWED: Inglourious Basterds. PLUS: Does anyone else like Last Action Hero?
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No matter what you think of the Halloween 2 remake (I’m mostly ambivalent), this is some damn fine marketing.
(Hit refresh if it’s no longer animating.)
You got your sociopolitical commentary in my sci-fi popcorn flick! You got your Sam Rockwell in my Sam Rockwell! It’s a science fiction double feature with District 9 and Moon. PLUS: Whither White Chicks 2?
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Yes these still exist. And while I prefer stadium seating, it was surprisingly nostalgic to watch a film in an old sloped-floor theater like the heady days of my youth. Of course, I hate to admit that these days I’m most likely to skip the theater entirely in favor of my living room, which usually has far fewer tweens on their cell phones. Excluding my weekly iCarly parties.
On a semi-related note, you’ll notice that the theater was advertising this week’s live Rifftrax event. Three MST3K alumni goofing on Plan 9 From Outer Space, broadcast simultaneously to theaters across the country. We’re living in the not too distant future, kids.
This is Magical Mystery Tour, the weirdest of the Beatles’ movies. Directed mostly by a very high Paul McCartney if I recall my lore correctly. I bring this up because this film has the distinction of being the oldest thing on my Amazon wishlist.
I know this because Amazon now puts a little note next to each item on your list saying how long it’s been there. I’m not sure if that’s supposed to provide some kind of service to your gift-buying friends or if it’s just a novelty, but it did reveal to me that I have wanted Magical Mystery Tour on DVD for nine years. I was unaware I’d even had an Amazon wishlist for that long.
Of course, I do have a job. If I wanted Magical Mystery Tour so badly I would go buy it. Yes, it’s out of print (in fact I believe it actually went back into print and then back out of print during these last nine years), but I’m sure I could track a copy down. The thing is I don’t really want it that much. I’m just a Beatles completist and feel like I should have it.
This caused me to realize that there are a TON of other items on my notoriously long list that fit the same bill. The book version of “The Princess Bride”? Four years on the list. What’s Up, Tiger Lily? Added five years ago. Evil Dead: Hail to the King for the original PlayStation? Six year veteran of the list. I do not even own an original PlayStation anymore. but I marked it high priority, so you know I’m serious.
Am I alone in my greed or do you guys also have long-desired purchases that you’ll never get around to making?
Now that we’re 24 episodes old, it’s time we thought about sharing our love with someone new. Adoption or threesome, either way works for us. REVIEWED: Orphan. PLUS: Amy Adams in a goatee.
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We whip out some occlumency in an attempt to divine how Michael Gambon ever got cast as Dumbledore. REVIEWED: Six Harry Potter films. PLUS: Chris Columbus: Overrated? Underrated? Rated appropriately?
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This week, Michael Mann proves to film students everywhere that he’s one of them by making a long, rambling, plotless crime drama on DV. Except his stars Johnny Depp. REVIEWED: Public Enemies. PLUS: Newsies!
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It’s thirty minutes of bile, robots, and the most anyone’s ever talked about Shia LaBeouf in one sitting. REVIEWED: Transformers, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. PLUS: Someone’s more racist than Logan!
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It’s our 20th episode and we mostly talk about soda. REVIEWED: Year One. PLUS: Our early years as IMDb contributors revealed.
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The debut of a brand new feature: the Critical Hit! Critical Hits will be shorter than our regular shows and probably not about a new movie, but something a bit looser or more topical. Like a television show with a recently aired finale. Or in the case of Harper’s Island, a television show with a finale that had recently aired before we took forever to release this episode. Still…Critical Hit!
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COMEDY.
You know what? It’s time to take back comedy, damn it. No longer will we allow Hollywood to force feed us whatever mediocre new film Judd Apatow is producing! No longer will we listen to any Radiohead listening, PBR sucking hipster explain the brilliance of Bill Murray! It’s time to take a stand! You hear me people?! Who’s with me? LET’S GO!
Hello?
Well, if there’s anybody still reading, that time has come. And by “that time” I mean the return of one Mr. Cornelius Crane Chase. A second coming has been predicted for some time now (your pals here at Critical End! are still trying to figure out why Vegas Vacation didn’t work like it was supposed to), and it looks like it’s going to come from both your TV and local cinema. Take that, Murray!
First off, if you haven’t heard of Community yet, you obviously haven’t been hanging out with me for the past six months. Check out this NBC promo for the scoop. It’s packed with lots of Chevy goodness!
That’s a start in the right direction! But I know you…now you’re thinking, “Gee, Logan, that’s swell and all, but where’s the R-rated Chevy that I’ve heard tale of? Also, you’re ever so handsome.” Whoa. Settle down there, ladies. For those of you who want to see Chevy return to his R-rated roots, check out this teaser for Hot Tub Time Machine!
Granted, Chevy is no where to be seen in this teaser, but do you really want to turn down the chance to see John Cusack and Chevy in the same movie? I think not!
Let the comedy revolution begin!
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