What’s all this then? Well, it’s our first video feature. A Critical Quip, if you will. In it, Logan and I have our way with the trailer for Solomon Kane. Wanna see more stuff like this? Let us know in the comments.
Looks like a nor’easter. Better take in the porch swing. REVIEWED: Whiteout. PLUS: Arnold Schwarzeneggar Can Do Christmas All By Himself.
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We whip out some occlumency in an attempt to divine how Michael Gambon ever got cast as Dumbledore. REVIEWED: Six Harry Potter films. PLUS: Chris Columbus: Overrated? Underrated? Rated appropriately?
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Long nose = wackiness!
To get the obvious points out of the way:
My GOD. Do we really need another…
But ignoring all that, Disney is going to promote this thing by carting props and marketing around to 40 cities in a vintage train. At each stop they plan to unload a giant inflatable 3D theater and do sneak previews of the film. I hear about these train tours from time to time and I’m always left wondering, “Are there still trains? Are trains still a thing?”
Where, within these 40 cities, is this train going to stop? Is it like Harry Potter where you have to find the magical entrance to some hidden anachronistic train platform? Or is Disney building an entire rail system solely for the promotion of their poor man’s Grinch?
Either way, I look forward to similar stunts in the future. Perhaps a cross-country hot air balloon tour for Up, a Romanian caravan tour for the Pinocchio Blu-ray, or a sewer-traversing exercise ball tour for G-Force. Speaking of which, this is exquisite.
[Variety]
Less than 24 hours after my last post about how unfortunate it was that the adaptation of Bret Easton Ellis’ The Informers was heading straight to DVD, I received an email from the fine people over at Senator Distribution assuring me that I needn’t fear. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it would seem that your ol’ Uncle Logan shouldn’t believe every fanboy rumor that he reads on the Internet.
What I should have said:
Hey, kids! The Informers looks like it’s going to be completely awesome! And you know what? It’s going to be in theaters April 24th, which is less than a month away! I read some rumor online about it going straight to DVD. Luckily, I was smart enough to fact check a few things first before I ran that unbelievable story. How dumb would it be if I didn’t take the time to do that, huh? Blah blah blah I’m Logan and I like movies blah blah blah…
Senator Distribution was also kind enough to send over some great EPK material, including clips and stills from the movie. In the days leading up to the release, I’ll make sure and throw some of that up as a teaser to try and get more of you into the theater seats. Until then, here is what you need to know:
1. None of that straight to DVD nonsense. It’ll be in theaters April 24th.
2. I can not apologize enough for the mistake.
3. According to a great website I just found, Big Foot is being held in a military prison base outside of Dalton, GA. Release the Foot!
Bret Easton Ellis. Don't worry. He's never heard of you either.
NOTE: This article is slightly inaccurate, specifically the news that The Informers is going straight to DVD. The film will actually be in theaters April 24, 2009. More information can now be found here.
Is it wrong of me to think that Bret Easton Ellis’ American Psycho is one of the funniest novels ever written? Wait. You know what? I’ll even take that a step further: American Psycho is the funniest AND most important novel of the nineties. That’s right, I said it. So why is it that most people still have no clue who Bret Easton Ellis is? Maybe it’s because nobody quite understands him, myself included.
And nobody misunderstands him more than Hollywood. Granted, the film versions of American Psycho and The Rules of Attraction have both been beyond excellent*, but we can’t forget about the Ellis disowned double feature of Less Than Zero and (sigh) American Psycho 2: All American Girl. Like many of the best authors, his work has been called unfilmable, but hey…that’s never stopped Hollywood before.
Christian Bale in a scene you didn't see in Newsies.
Enter The Informers. Based on the 1994 book of linked short stories by the same name, The Informers has always been my least favorite of Ellis’ novels. It’s still worthy of a fine 7 out of 10, and I could spend all day telling you why, but this isn’t a book review site, so let’s just cut to the chase. No other Ellis novel screams “movie adaptation” more than The Informers. The stories are short, easy to understand (kinda), and feature some of his best satire of none other than the city of Los Angles itself. I’m kind of surprised Hollywood didn’t make this movie three years ago.
Except they did. See, The Informers has been sitting on the shelf for over three years and I can’t quite explain why. With a cast that features Kim Basinger, Billy Bob Thornton, Winona Ryder, Chris Isaak, and the now bankable again Mickey Rourke, it should have been a sure thing. Maybe it’s the fact that the novel also features club hopping vampires and gay aliens that scared the studios away.
Whatever the reason, it was announced last week that The Informers is now going straight to DVD, which must be both pleasing and insulting to Bret Easton Ellis. Despite all the drama, I have to admit that I can’t wait. Check out the trailer for yourself below and let me know what you think. In the meantime, if you read this far than you now know who Bret Easton Ellis is. That makes me happy.
(Note: This trailer is HIGHLY uncensored, so you might want to remove any children or small pets from the room now)
*As crazy as this may make me sound, American Psycho is one of three films in my top ten favorites that has the word “psycho” in the title. It is joined by Hitchcock’s Psycho and Charles Busch’s hilarious Psycho Becah Party. Needless to say, I’m a hit at parties.
What’s loud and long and blue all over? Wait, I think I told that wrong… REVIEWED: Watchmen. RETRO PICKS: V for Vendetta, From Hell, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. PLUS: Secrets of The Persuader revealed!
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