Critical End!

The hijinks of Danny DeVito can't save you now, Arnold.

Damn you, Arnold! I was all excited about your return to film and then you go and retroactively have had an affair, complete with love child. Now the Daily Beast reports that you’re putting your career on hold and that that wonderfully goofy Governator cartoon has been scrapped.  I waited for however-many long years you were in office to get another taste of your unique brand of goofy machismo and just when the prize is in sight you decide it’s time to focus on your multiple families.

Look, obviously the Schwarzeneggers are going through a tough time, and I hope they work it out and get through this.  But in the meantime, wouldn’t it be healthy for Arnold to lose himself in his work a little?  And by his work I mean movies where he’s a violent robot, alien hunter, or undercover spy.

Until then, we’ll have to look elsewhere for over-the-top performances and badly written dialog.  Like, say…video games!

Well, it’s Monday again, but don’t commit suicide just yet! First enjoy one of my favorites from last Friday’s batch of online April Fool’s gags. It’s from Telltale Games, makers of the recent/upcoming Back to the Future and Jurassic Park games we’ve talked about on the site. Enjoy!

Bring in the logic probe! REVIEWED: Tron, Tron: Legacy.

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Finally, we’ve got our first real taste of Telltale’s new Back to the Future adventure game and it’s glorious. AJ LoCascio sounds amazing as Marty. Chris Lloyd is as Doc-like as ever. The look, the music, and the DeLorean are all pitch perfect. As far as I know, there’s no solid release date, but the first episode is coming out sometime this month.

The biggest remaining question mark involves the villainous Tannen family line. According to the end of the trailer, the second episode is called “Get Tannen!” That indicates that Biff Tannen or one of his ancestors will appear. But Tom Wilson, who played Biff in the films, has told BTTF.com that he hasn’t been approached for voice work. Seems odd since Telltale is pushing hard for authenticity and Wilson’s an active (and probably inexpensive) actor. Maybe the two parties have already struck a deal and are just waiting for the right time to make the big announcement. Either way, we’ll find out soon.

[Trailer via Kotaku]

This is some serious shit, folks.  Ever since Telltale announced that Christopher Lloyd would reprise the role of Doc Brown (in voiceover) for the new Back to the Future videogame, nerds have been waiting with bated breath to hear who’d play Marty.  They’ve secured the likeness of Michael J. Fox, but presumably he’s not well enough to actually play the role.  

Enter AJ LoCascio. He sent Telltale an mp3 of himself doing Marty and it was so good they gave him the job. Drop everything and check out the video below. It’s about as flawless as anyone could hope for. Even Bob Gale says so. I think I’m officially out of things to worry about, this game is going to be brilliant.

Let a Milla Jovovich be your umbrella. REVIEWED: Resident Evil, Resident Evil: Apocalypse, Resident Evil: Extinction, Resident Evil: Afterlife.

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Chris Klein. Street Fighter. His entire performance. 2 minutes.

From /Film.

Welcome back, kids!  I trust you all had a great Labor Day weekend and didn’t almost die watching the new Danny Boyle film.  I thought about posting some of the usual crap to slowly ease you back into your working week, then I thought, “Screw it.  I’m going all out.”

Thus, I give you the first image from the upcoming Telltale Back to the Future game:

BAM!

Is that freakin’ awesome or what?!  Ryan gave us some of the first news on this five episode series back in June.  Word on the net is that the first episode of the game is going to come out sometime at the end of the year to coincide with the 25th anniversary release of the series on Blu-ray.

I can’t wait to play this game.  Hell, I’d play that picture if they put a Start button on it.  That’s how pumped the image has me for the game.  It also helps that I was almost expecting something more along the lines of this:

via CHUD

This week, Dolph Lundgren battles Randy Couture’s seven evil exes while Michael Cera invades Guatemala.  Where was Carl Weathers?  REVIEWED: The Expendables, Scott Pilgrim. PLUS: We earn our “explicit” rating.

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It will probably look better than the NES game.

I love Back to the Future.  I love adventure games.  Telltale Games, a company composed almost exclusively of ex-LucasArts employees (they made Monkey Island and a ton of other classics) has just announced that they are making a series of adventure games based on Back to the Future.

Chills, folks.  I’m getting chills over here.  No word on specifics, yet, but they’re saying it will take place in “the world of Back to the Future” which probably means “you won’t be playing as Marty”.  Still, if Day of the Tentacle was any indication, time travel makes for a very entertaining adventure game mechanic.  I can’t wait!

On, and they’re doing Jurassic Park too.  If that’s more your thing.

Welcome to The Bevcast.  REVIEWED: Prince of Persia.  PLUS: Musings on the theater experience.

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