Critical End!

I was really just looking for an excuse to post a Stella clip…but on a serious note, if you play this video before you go out tonight, I guarantee that you’ll have a much more awesome Friday night.*

*not a guarantee.  okay, well…kinda.

Here’s the first pic of Captain America’s suit from the upcoming movie.  Thoughts?

More at Ain’t it Cool News.

While watching Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time for the upcoming podcast, I couldn’t help but notice that the guy two rows down from me was watching what looked like a completely different movie on his iPhone.  Now, I can’t explain the logic behind paying nine bucks just to sit in a theater and watch a completely different movie on a three and a half inch screen, but I can explain why you shouldn’t do it in the first place.

Or better yet, my old pal David Lynch can do it for me:

I promise this is going to be the last time I complain about anything Lost related (that is unless I get around to reviewing the entire show some day), but here are the remaining questions I have for the show, presented in easy to follow video form.

That is all.

James Franco, winning the Judd Apatow award for highness.

If you thought not one, but two prequels to Alien were a wee bit unnecessary, does Hollywood have news for you!

James Franco has signed on to play a scientist who creates a group of hyper intelligent chimps that will later take over the world leading to…are you ready for this…Planet of The Apes!  Gasp!  Wait…the hell?

Yes, a prequel to 1968’s Planet of the Apes may be, by all accounts, the most pointless prequel to come from Hollywood in a very long time.  And the casting of James Franco as a monkey scientist?  Yeah, I don’t know where they come up with these things either.  This is proof that Hollywood relies a bit more on the 14-year-old girl crowd than the still-living-in-my parents-basement male crowd.

I’m sorry, but let me just say this one more time so we’re all on the same page here: Remember those crazy apes in Planet of the Apes?  Dr. James Franco made them.

via CHUD/Variety

Okay, well not really…unless you believe Chevy’s line in the clip below…which I don’t…(but how I wish!)

Anyway, the Community finale airs tonight, and while I’m not excited that the writers feel the need to get back to the Jeff/Britta relationship (although it made Entertainment Weekly’s #1 “must” this week), this is a show that we’ve been talking about since the beginning, so I feel somewhat obligated to remind you about it.

Oh, screw it- I just wanted to post a clip of Chevy saying the word “Fletch”.  You got me.

Hey kids, you know what really sucked?  Last weeks episode of Lost.  And for once I’m not the only person who’s calling the show out for it.  Not only have we finally started to realize that all of our biggest questions are never going to be answered, but producers/head writers Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof have decided that they have no obligation at all to really answer their own questions.  Guys, it’s one thing for your show to be badly written, but it’s another when you start acting like you’re too awesome for your own audience.  (I’m looking at you, ““Every question I answer will simply lead to another question.”)

So, what would I have done different with last weeks episode, besides telling an actual story and never making the episode in the first place?  Luckily, CHUD is here once again to tackle this issue for me.

The last episode before the finale airs tonight at some time on ABC.  At this point I think I’m just watching to say I watched it.      

It’s been a while since Joe Dante had a hit theatrical release, which is somewhat sad as he shaped a lot of childhood’s in the 80’s and early 90’s with films like Gremlins, Explorers, Innerspace, and yes, even Matinee (Hey, I loved it as a kid).  He tried to bring the same child-like touch to films like Small Solders (loved it) and Looney Tunes: Back in Action (seriously underrated), but has failed to really connect with an audience of either kids or adults for some time now.

Well, it looks like he’s going to take one more shot at it, this time with the writer of Vacancy behind him.  The Hole, despite it’s unfortunate name, looks to be spooky childhood fun along the lines of Dante’s “It’s a Good Life” segment from Twilight Zone: The Movie.  And it’s Dante’s first 3D film to boot!

No word yet on an actual theatrical release, which is sad as we may never see this is in actual 3D.  Until then, I guess we’ll have to look forward to the upcoming 3D remake of Joe’s 1978 cheese classic Piranha in August.

There is something very creepy going on in the bottom right of this photo.

It comes as a surprise to pretty much nobody that Iron Man 2 was the number one film this past weekend.  While the actual box office itself didn’t set any #1 records (it placed fifth for all-time best grossing weekend), I was a bit surprised to learn that it did set the record for the widest release in motion picture history(4,380 theaters to be exact), beating former record holder The Dark Knight by a mere 14 theaters. 

Meanwhile, repeat business is supposed to make it’s overall box office climb even higher.  If you’re one of those nerds- I mean, people…no wait, nerds will do…that plan on seeing it again, why not check out some of the confirmed Easter eggs that CHUD dug up.

So, what did your pals here at Critical End! Think about it?  Find out tomorrow in our podcast!

If you listened to our last podcast, you’re probably aware of my love for director Vincenzo Natali, despite the fact that I can’t pronounce his name and I thought he was French, when in actuality he was born in Detroit.  Do I really know what the hell I’m even talking about?  As usual, the answer is no. 

With this in mind, I think it may be time to pull a much loved (by us anyway) Critical End! Film School session and review his first three full length films.  For those of you who haven’t been paying attention in class, this is along the lines of what I did previously for the Silent Night, Deadly Night series, and what Ryan is doing currently for Alec Baldwin‘s career.  The three films that I’ll be taking a critical look at in the coming weeks are Cube, Cypher, and Nothing.  All three of these films are available on Netflix, and I can also tell you that two of them are already classics in my book, so why not rent them now so you can be ready to disagree with me when the time comes?

Oh yeah, and as some of you may realize, all of this is in preparation for a film called Splice which opens in a few weeks.  We’ll be reviewing that as well.

With only one episode left in it’s inaugural season, Community has managed to remain at the top of it’s game for over 22 episodes now.  It’s also reached a comfortable spot where the writers feel that they can experiment with different types of non-sitcom formats and styles.  Such is the case with tonight episode, which producers have promised is basically going to be a 25 minute paintball fight:

So, if you’re still not watching this show: Now is the time.

Chevy Chase drops by to deliver the "Happy Town" ratings to his old friend Sam Neill.

Catch ABC’s Happy Town last Wednesday?  That’s okay, because most of the country didn’t either.  In fact, according to UGO, only 5.2 million people tuned into Happy Town, which officially makes it the lowest rated new ABC show this year.  Ouch.

And what did those 5.2 million think?  Well, a quick glance at the IMDB message board for the show reveals lots of post subjects like “No denying it…they ARE ripping off Twin Peaks”, “Trying a little too hard to be like Twin Peaks”, and my personal favorite, “what the hell is twin peaks??”  Honestly, all of these people are likely right.  We’ve only seen the first episode of Happy Town so far, but it seems rather obvious that it’s trying to bank on the fact that most people don’t remember (or couldn’t figure out) the basic twists of Twin Peaks.

Happy Town airs tomorrow night at 10 PM EST.  Care to place any bets on how much longer it’s going to stick around?

Quick reminder: Happy Town premieres on ABC tonight at 10PM EST.  While I know that several of you don’t have the time to invest in yet another Lost inspired serial show, this might be one to catch.  Despite the mostly mediocre early reviews, I find it hard to not want to watch any show that proudly claims to be a direct Twin Peaks rip off and star the amazing duo of talent that is Sam Neill and Steven Weber.  Genius?  I think so.

…but it could also really suck.  Check out the extended promo for yourself below and let us know what you think after the show tonight.

Hey kids, just wanted to remind you that this is an actual film, and it’s coming out in two months.  This should be more than enough time for you to start avoiding the theater.  Hell, I happened to pass by a theater with this poster outside on my way to work this morning and I now plan on taking the longer route just to avoid it.

PS: Is it just me or is Spade showing WAY too much leg in this picture?

Super best friends.

Last week, out of the blue, I received the following text from my sister:

Stone and Parker are going to get murdered by the Muslims.  I’m calling it.

I laughed it off at the time, but unfortunately a few days later it looks like she might be right.  In case you missed it, and I’m not sure how that’s possible as this is now national news, Matt and Trey once again tried to get an image of Muhammad on their show…and once again Comedy Central went and screwed them over.  In fact, I feel like this whole thing exploding is really Comedy Central’s fault.  Especially when you consider that Matt and Trey have done it before in the season 5 episode “Super Best Friends”.  Obviously, that episode aired before 9/11 (only by a few months), but isn’t it funny that out of all the shit that Comedy Central let’s Matt and Trey get away with, the one thing they won’t let them do is something that they already let them do?

Anyway, don’t bother looking for either episode as Comedy Central has removed both of them from their site.  I can only imagine how they plan to screw up the Season 14 DVD release as well.