Dec 11 2010

Big Fat Muppet Update

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Don't freak out, it's totally consensual.

So here’s what we know. First and awesomest, Disney has released an official synopsis for the new Muppet flick:

On vacation in Los Angeles, Walter, the world’s biggest Muppet fan, and his friends Gary (Jason Segel) and Mary (Amy Adams) from Smalltown, USA, discover the nefarious plan of oilman Tex Richman (Chris Cooper) to raze the Muppet Theater and drill for the oil recently discovered beneath the Muppets’ former stomping grounds.

To stage The Greatest Muppet Telethon Ever and raise the $10 million needed to save the theater, Walter, Mary and Gary help Kermit reunite the Muppets, who have all gone their separate ways: Fozzie now performs with a Reno casino house band called the Moopets, Miss Piggy is a plus-size fashion editor at Vogue Paris, Animal is in a Santa Barbara clinic for anger management, and Gonzo is a high-powered plumbing magnate.

With secret, signature, celebrity cameos, The Muppets hits the big screen Nov. 23, 2011.

That’s pretty much what we’ve been hearing with some great new details on what the disbanded Muppets are up to at the film’s beginning. You’ll also note that the release date has been moved form Christmas to Thanksgiving, meaning you’ll get your Muppet fix a full month earlier.

In bittersweet news, Paul Rudd has squashed the rumor that he’s voicing Segel’s puppet pal Walter. Bitter because we all love Paul Rudd, but sweet because my preference is for Muppeteers to voice Muppets. It’s the natural order of things. Of course it’s still possible they’ll go for a celebrity dub job to pull in a broader audience. It’s also possible that Celebrity Dub Job would make a great title for a gameshow.

Last thing, Muppet Central linked some sneaky set pics posted at On Location Vacations. They’re guaranteed to satisfy all your dour-looking-gentleman-manhandling-Beaker needs.


Dec 9 2010

Robin Hood Steals from Self, Gives to Bored

Picture from the upcoming Robin Hood music video, "Here Comes the Wicky Wicky Wild Wild Jiggy Robin Hood"

Long story short: The Wachowski brothers siblings, Andy and LarryLana Wachowski, are in the early stages of adapting a new Robin Hood film.  The “twist”?   It’s going to be set in a modern, urban society, which I guess screams “black Robin Hood”.  Hence: Will Smith.

So let’s look at what we have: Will Smith in a modern take of the Robin Hood tale?  Sounds fine…if it were 1998.  Honestly: We really don’t need another Robin Hood film, modern, urban society or not.  Ridly Scott already released his “true” version of the story earlier this year, and while it wasn’t a terrible film, it really felt like I had seen it all before.  And Will Smith has so many movies in the works that remind us how awesome he was a few years back, it’s ridiculous.  Here’s a quick list from IMDB: Bad Boys 3, I, Robot 2, Independence Day 2, Men in Black 3, I Am Legend 2, and I kid you not, Independence Day 3.  

As for the Wachowski  brothers siblings, Andy and LarryLana Wachowski, I gave up on you guys gentlemen people long before the credits for The Matrix Reloaded started rolling.

via Collider


Dec 8 2010

Critical End! (The Podcast) #74: Gargamel’s Travel Pants

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The one where we DON’T complain about the 3D. REVIEWED: Tangled. PLUS: The only podcast with a “C Moon” joke.

Download it.

 

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Dec 7 2010

Jodie Foster’s Beaver has a Trailer

Apologies for the headline, but truth be told, so many people are concerned about the whole Mel Gibson side of this trailer that they’re completely missing out on all sorts of wonderful Jodie Foster “beaver” jokes.

Anyway, the trailer itself has me intrigued.  Visually, the film looks wonderful, and it’s packing more emotion than I expected from a film about a talking beaver.  However, even if it looks good or turns out to be great, will it ever get the respect it fully deserves?  Perhaps.  History continues to prove that people are ready to forgive Mel, especially since it looks like no charges are going to be filed against him.

Let us know what you think below.  Truthfully? I’ll buy a ticket.


Dec 6 2010

The Back to the Future Game has a Trailer

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Finally, we’ve got our first real taste of Telltale’s new Back to the Future adventure game and it’s glorious. AJ LoCascio sounds amazing as Marty. Chris Lloyd is as Doc-like as ever. The look, the music, and the DeLorean are all pitch perfect. As far as I know, there’s no solid release date, but the first episode is coming out sometime this month.

The biggest remaining question mark involves the villainous Tannen family line. According to the end of the trailer, the second episode is called “Get Tannen!” That indicates that Biff Tannen or one of his ancestors will appear. But Tom Wilson, who played Biff in the films, has told BTTF.com that he hasn’t been approached for voice work. Seems odd since Telltale is pushing hard for authenticity and Wilson’s an active (and probably inexpensive) actor. Maybe the two parties have already struck a deal and are just waiting for the right time to make the big announcement. Either way, we’ll find out soon.

[Trailer via Kotaku]


Dec 3 2010

IMPORTANT NEWS FLASH: “Piranha 3D” Sequel Gets a Title!

Looks like it's back to work for boob master Eli Roth!

And that title is…Piranha 3DD! 

Seriously.  I may be alone here, but Ithink that’s a brilliant title.  I can pretty much already see the 3D boobs on the poster, and as we all know, 3D boobs pack those theater seats.  Hollywood even has a formula for this:

3D boobies = Money in bank

Have a great weekend, kids.


Dec 2 2010

“Community” Christmas Preview

It’s been a while since we’ve talked about Community, which is strange since some weeks I feel we’re contractually obligated to do so.  Check out this clip from the upcoming animated episode and share your thoughts.

Despite the fact that they all kind of look like meth heads (I understand that this is a common problem with stop-motion animation), I’m really digging this.  They even pegged Chevy’s comic reaction exactly right, which can’t be easy.

The Community animated Christmas episode airs December 9th.


Dec 1 2010

Critical End! (The Podcast) #73: Dangerous

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What a beautiful place…to be with friends. REVIEWED: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1. PLUS: Logan’s dangerous obsession with National Lampoon Magazine.

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Nov 30 2010

Post-Thanksgiving Poster Round-Up

If you’re anything like me (sexy, funny, and loved by women the world over), you most likely spent a day, or perhaps even two, at your local cineplex this past holiday weekend.  However, while most of you dorkie nerdo’s were there to watch the usual holiday blockbuster and eat large bags of overly buttered popcorn, I was there working.  That’s right, even on the holidays, your pals at Critical End! are pulling overtime.  Anyway, here’s the lowdown on two new posters I saw.  Let me know what you dorkie nerdos think.

First up is a poster for a movie that I’m really looking forward to…Taken 2!

What do you mean this isn’t Taken 2?  Liam Neeson has a gun, for chrissake!  And look at that car!  It’s totally flying through the air all Liam Neeson style!  And you’re telling me this isn’t Taken 2?  Whatev.  Unrelated: What happened to that one side of Liam’s face?

Moving on, here’s a poster for a movie I was excited about…until I saw the poster.

I recall seeing some very awesome looking promo shots for this film.  None of them featured a badly CG’d alien.  I also recall thinking that this was going to be the one film coming out in 2011 that didn’t feature Seth Rogan in some capacity.  I’m slightly disappointed, producers of Hot Fuzz.  Unrelated: This apparently isn’t Taken 2 either.  I checked.

Hope everybody had a great Thanksgiving weekend.  Next stop: X’mas!     


Nov 29 2010

A Few Words on Leslie Nielsen

When I was little, I was the only kid in the world who would ride around the neighborhood on my bike pretending to be Frank Drebin.  I even hummed the Police Squad! theme song for added effect.  Frank was a hero.  He was a tough cop who always got the girl, but I think what really appealed to me at that age was his ability to be a complete buffoon so gracefully.  He didn’t even care.

I grew up watching Leslie Nielsen play the same part in other movies, but like most people, I didn’t care.  I was so enchanted with the man in any role, that it didn’t matter if it was mostly the same role or not.  What mattered was that Nielsen was a genius at what he was doing, and that was making us laugh.      

I didn’t plan to post this today, and honestly, I’m heartbroken to do so.  On behalf of comedy fans all of the world, we’ll miss you, Mr. Nielsen.


Nov 29 2010

Upcoming MST3K box set is friend to all children

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MSTies rejoice! Shout Factory has announced, via Satellite News, that they will release a five-disc box containing every Gamera episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Why is this news? Because the guy who brought those movies to America, Sandy Frank, has long blocked DVD distribution of the MST3K versions.

The going theory has been that Frank didn’t take too kindly to the way Joel and the bots personally lambasted him on the show, but according to Badass Digest, it was just a matter of money. Either way, Frank’s stake in the films has expired and the big fire-breathing turtle is finally flying into your home. As Badass points out, this could mean that more MST3K versions of Sandy Frank owned films could be on the way, like Time of the Apes, Mighty Jack, and the Fugitive Alien movies.


Nov 23 2010

Pre-Thanksgiving Roundup Review: “ThanksKilling”

Here at Critical End! we’re proud of our knowledge of holiday themed horror movies.  Why, if it weren’t for us, you wouldn’t know the true, god-awful horror of such “classics” like Valentine, Leprechaun, and Silent Night Deadly Night Parts 1 through 5. What’s our secret?  Simply put: We know that you would rather spend the holidays with your family and not watching some shitty horror movie featuring Clint Howard or a killer leprechaun.  That being said, it’s with a humble heart that I ask you to ditch your family this Thanksgiving Thursday and go out of your way to watch a little holiday themed horror film proudly called ThanksKilling.

“But, Logan,” I can can hear you whining.  “I love my family and the time spent with them!”  Yeah, well your family sucks.  This movie doesn’t.  Okay, it kinda does.  But that’s the point.  Stick with me, folks.

The tagline says it all.

ThanksKilling opens on a cue card telling us that we’re about to see the very first Thanksgiving.  It then quickly cuts to boobs.  Pilgrim boobs, that is, and not just any pilgrim boobs.  Running pilgrim boobs.  And what happens when there’s no place else for pilgrim boobs to run?  A talking turkey kills her with an axe.  Smash cut to opening credits playing over what can best be described as a remix of the Halloween theme with added “gobbles” mixed in, and I suddenly realized that something magical was unfolding on my TV screen: A horror holiday film the likes of which I hadn’t seen since Jack Frost.

There’s what you might call a plot.  Some college students are heading home for Thanksgiving break and their car breaks down.  They party and flirt, and once they get all of the wiener and tit jokes out of the way, things get going.  You guessed it: A killer turkey starts stalking and killing them one by one.  An attempt, of sorts, is made to explain the origins of the killer turkey, but I won’t bore you with the details.  Let’s just say it involves and ancient pilgrim curse and flash animation. 

The probelm is, all of this is kinda awesome.  I would go as far as to say that there are some genuinely funny moments.  Sure, the actors aren’t the best, but they understand how to play it all very “wink wink”, without completly tipping the hat.  There’s even a Trey Parker-ish musical number.  And the turkey…well, all you really need to know is that he kills people, wears disguises, and talks. 

Proof that you will like this movie.

Until Eli Roth gets around to actually making Thanksgiving, this is the most fun you’re going to have at Thanksgiving, next to Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, of course.  So ditch the boring family this year and check it out.  Oh, and ThanksKilling is currently a Watch Instantly on Netflix, which makes it a perfect way to spend those last few hours of Thanksgiving night before you nod off.  Your smelly uncle won’t mind.

Rating: ★★★★★★★☆☆☆
7 out of 10.


Nov 22 2010

Pre-Thanksgiving Blog Queue Roundup

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Hey folks.  It’s a short week due to Thanksgiving.  No podcast and we’ll just be posting today and tomorrow.  So, before the holiday break, I wanted to clear out a couple things I meant to post about last week:

First up, here’s some long lost footage from Back to the Future Part II. It’s the full video loop that plays outside the Biff Tannen Museum scene in alternate 1985. There’s definitely more here than we see in the finished film, and it sounds like the narration is still temp. So, I guess that makes this the version from alternate alternate 1985.

[/Film via BTTF.com]

While we’re on the subject, check out this very interesting article where BTTF scribe Bob Gale debunks some common misconceptions about the trilogy.

It’s old news now, but here’s the full Green Lantern trailer. Everything about it pleases me except the costume which was created entirely by CG rather than physical material. It looked great on the cover of Entertainment Weekly awhile back, but it’s kind of fakey when seen in motion. Hopefully they’ll give it one more pass before it hits theaters.

Here’s a publicity shot for the Broadway musical Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark wherein Nicole Kidman from Moulin Rouge! is terrorized by a slouchy, bipedal version of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Badass Digest has three others, each goofier than the last.

"It's the fact that I'm a walking abomination isn't it?"

And finally, if you’re spending Monday counting the hours until the Thanksgiving holiday, embrace your frustration with this video compilation of every violent, primal, non-lingual utterance Arnold Schwarzenegger has ever committed to film. See you next week!

[Via /Film]


Nov 19 2010

This Thanksgiving…

…why not make it a movie night?  And since this film doesn’t fully exist yet…

…why not get the family together and watch this one instead?

Full review coming this Tuesday.  See you back here then.


Nov 18 2010

Dan Aykroyd, Come Back To Us

Listen folks, I love and miss Dan Aykroyd just as much as the next guy, but I’ve noticed a few things as of late:

1. He apparently eats his weight in butter chunks once a day.  However, I don’t fault him for this.  I plan to do the same when butter chunk prices go down.

2. He needs to lay off of the UFO and ghost stuff.  It’s all he’s talked about over the past few years.  Which leads to number 3…

3. He’s gone fucking batshit crazy.  Don’t believe me?

Remember this blast from the recent past?  I dare you to make it through all 8 minutes of this “video”.  I made it to around the 6 minute mark before I realized that this wasn’t a joke.  No, ladies and gentlemen, he’s for reals.

I also have to wonder how his new-found batshit craziness is going to affect the script to Ghostbusters 3.  Oh, and in related news: I want a case of this for Christmas.  I mean, it comes in a freakin’ glass skull, people.