Critical End!

You have me interested…

Such seems to be the case with Landis’ Burke and Hare which now has a trailer and a small US release next month.  Let’s take a look:

Yup. Just about. Let’s hope that this trailer, which mostly consists of poop jokes, isn’t any indication of what the movie is really like. I was so hoping to be excited about this.

REVIEWED: Captain America: The First Avenger. This episode ain’t kissing ya. PLUS: We talk about some POSITIVE theater experiences!

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What's that? You say this isn't a picture of Bruce Willis? Oh. Rumer Willis? What the hell is a Rumer Willis?

Remember how excited you were about Live Free or Die Hard?  The teaser trailer, with it’s rockin’ version of “God Bless America”, made it seem like John McClane was back and as ready to kick some ass as before.  However, things turned sour pretty fast.  Bruce Willis was playing now McClane as “Old Man Bruce Willis”, Justin Long was no Sam Jackson, Kevin Smith showed up for some reason, and finally, the final stab to fans hearts, a PG-13 rating.

Okay, so honestly, it wasn’t that bad.  The R rated cut that later showed up on DVD made it more enjoyable, but let’s not kid ourselves: It mostly fell into the “Unnecessary Sequel” category.  But that was that.  I’ve moved on and so has Bruce’s career (kinda). 

But wait!  Hollywood has more to say!  The internet is abuzz with talk of Die Hard 5, and it looks like we’re finally getting plot details.  So what’s it all about?  Well…do you remember John McClane, Jr.?  You know, Bruce’s son that we saw for maybe fifteen seconds in the first film and was later mentioned in passing in Live Free or Die Hard?  Yeah, he’s taking over the series.  You read that right.  The plot of Die Hard 5 will feature John and John Jr. both having a pretty rough day.  Oh, and in Russia for some reason.

I can only assume that the studio is currently shopping for such fine modern thespians as Channing Tatum, Paul Walker, Justin Long, James Franco, or (dare I say it), Seth Rogan.  That’s right, I went there.  Who knows?  Maybe they’ll even go younger to pull in the tween crowd.  I hear Justin Bieber is looking to break into movies.  “Yippie-ki-yay, featherplucker”, anyone?

I’ll keep an eye on this for you all.  Until then, I’m going to go calm down by watching Die Hard with a Vengeance.  Now that’s a Die Hard movie.

REVIEWED: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2. Well, I guess we’re all going to get into Game of Thrones now? PLUS: There’s still time to contribute to our 100th episode.

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In a perfect world I would be roommates with Joe Dante.  Obviously, this would lead to all sorts of wacky sitcom style hijinks (I would accidentally set fire to Joe’s rare copy of Hellzapoppin’, Joe would ruin my dinner with Roger Corman by informing him that I’m not actually Paul Bartel’s son), but the best part would be our goofy lug of a next door neighbor, John Landis.  He would always be walking in unannounced and saying all of the wrong things to the dates we brought home.  Now that I think about it, here’s a clip from that show:

All kidding aside: That show I just pitched needs to happen. Joe, if you’re reading this, call me. I work cheap.

It is with tears of joy that I bring you the following news:

When I’m finally holding this in my sweaty, Ben Savage-lovin’ hands, this will mean that over a decade of waiting has come to an end.  Whatever will I do with myself now?

Man, it’s getting lazy around here! Yes, we’re taking next week off, both from the blog and the podcast. Why, you ask? Because we’re ramping up to our super awesome 100th podcast! So hang tight, and we’ll be back week after next with our thoughts on Harry Potter AND Captain America.

Until then, I bet you saw that trailer Logan posted yesterday and thought “Gee, I wonder what deceased Oscar-winning actor George C. Scott would have thought of this?” Well, wonder no more:

[Badass Digest]

Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

I fully expect this to be the biggest hit of the upcoming holiday season.

REVIEWED: Larry Crowne. Why won’t a sassy black girl decorate my apartment? PLUS: Drunk Harry Potter and original Schlitz!

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My review aside, there didn’t seem to be much love for Joe Johnston’s 2010 Wolfman remake.  You would think that maybe because it won an Oscar and Johnston is now about to release his much anticipated Captain America, it might earn some points, but apparently not. 

CHUD is telling me that Universal Studios has begun early planning for, you guessed it, another remake of The Wolfman, this time simply titled Werewolf.  How imaginative.  Add an exclamation mark to that title and you suddenly have a musical version, which I might get excited about. 

Anyway, CHUD goes on to speculate that this remake is most likely going to be set in modern day, which completely throws out all of the cool gothic style that both the original and the 2010 version worked with so well.  I also imagine that this version will be in mind-shattering 3D, which means almost completely CG effects should be expected.

Then again, maybe we’re all wrong about this thing and what Universal is actually doing is finally getting around to that Wolfman Jack biopic.

I couldn't resist the urge to use this picture.

Happy Monday, guys. Nothing gets your week started quite like a little shot of Evil Dead II as presented by the director himself, a young and impish Sam Raimi. Is it just me or does Raimi look like he’s starring in a Nintendo Power commercial here?

[Badass Digest]

Yeah yeah.  I don’t want to ram yet another cheesy or fun or super cool trailer down your throats again today, but there’s been a bunch popping up this week.  Maybe it’s just me, but so far it seems like this year’s best summer films are coming out this fall/winter. 

Example?  The giddy thrill I got when I first saw the trailer for this December release:

It’s been a while since Rowan Atkinson last lit up my local cineplex.  Since another Mr. Bean is still out of the question (Atkinson said in several interviews that 2007’s Mr. Bean’s Holiday was the final send-off of the character), it looks like we’re going to have to settle with Johnny English Reborn.  Sure, the first one was just so-so and performed as such in America, but you have to remember that it was a huge hit on it’s native UK where Rowan is still a box office draw.

Is it just me or has Jason Statham let us all down lately with things like The Expendables and The Mechanic?  You know what we really need?  A good ol’ fashion based-on-a-true-story Statham film where he beats people up with unlikely household items while punching them in the crotch all while a leering Clive Owen with a goofy moustache look on.

Cue Killer Elite:

Side note: Yes, I saw this trailer in front of Mr. Popper’s Penguins this weekend.  Somebody got fired, I assure you.