May 10 2011

The Aquabats to Ruin Your Kids

The Aquabats have been one of my favorite bands for a long time now.  Songs like “Pizza Day”, “Magic Chicken”, and “Tiny Pants” were staples throughout my college years and continue to show up on my iPod on a daily basis.  I’d forgotten that Aquabats lead Christian Jacobs started it all with the hopes of some day scoring an Aquabats TV show.  While he managed to find success with Yo Gabba Gabba! (which features some of the “creatures” from the Aquabats stage show), his dream of a Aquabats show for kids never managed to catch on.

Until now.

After almost 15 years of trying, the official Aquabats site is reporting a 13 episode contract with HASBRO’s The Hub channel is currently being developed.  While I’ve never even heard of this station, I really hope this some how goes big.  Are kids ready for a show featuring overweight men from a ska band with fake mustaches wearing spandex and fighting crime?  The only correct answer is yes. 

Yes, they are.


May 9 2011

Dear, writers of How I Met Your Mother

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How in the hell do you not have Ted give the lion’s head to Zoe? I thought for sure that’s where that was going. You could have had this nice thing where even though things fell apart, he left this memento for her so she could remember both the building and their relationship. Instead you blow it on a site gag with Barney.

Come on! Your show is great, but don’t make me do your jobs for you.

Sincerely, Ryan.


May 9 2011

What a wonderful time to be a nerd

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I was at the movie theater this weekend and saw this…

It’s an ad for X-Men: First Class and it isn’t new.  It’s been standing there for more than a month, but its importance only struck me recently.

Blade was probably the true beginning of the modern resurgence of superhero movies, but for me, the most important was X-Men in 2000.  As a longtime comic fan, it seemed crazy to believe that Hollywood was not only capable of taking superheroes seriously (Singer’s movie was about social equality as much as guys who can shoot lasers from their eyes), but that they could manage to turn a profit in the process.  In other words, the people who scoffed at spandex and capes went to see the movie too.  The casting of Patrick Stewart, literally everyone’s first choice for Professor X, put the icing on the cake, proving that those involved were fans themselves.

After X-Men, came another Blade, Spider-Man (finally!), Daredevil, an even better X-Men, Hulk, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Hellboy, Punisher, an even better Spider-Man, Catwoman, yet another Blade, Elektra, Fantastic Four, and the most well regarded of the lot, Batman Begins.  This was all in the first five years of what was then still being called a fad, even by me.

Certainly these are not all excellent films.  I had forgotten Elektra even came out. But to a lot of fans it was important that they simply existed and be just good enough to prevent the critics from saying “Well, that’s it for superhero movies!  Trend’s over!  Pack it up, Hollywood, this cash cow is dry.”  Because then the party would end and we’d all go back to the universe we came from, where superheroes are silly.  Neither profitable nor respectable enough for  theaters.

We endured Singer’s yawnable Superman reboot, as well as the film it spawned through neglect, the bitterly disappointing third entry in the X-Men trilogy. We cringed nervously at Ghost Rider and hoped Nicolas Cage would shoulder most of the blame.  We had high hopes for the Fantastic Four sequel.  It looked better than the first one.  And it was.  Though not by much.

We pretended Spider-Man 3 was “fun”.  Then we saw Iron Man and remembered what fun actually meant. There was another Incredible Hulk for some reason, but that was okay because there was another Batman too.  A dark and moody (as well as long and preachy) tale of the Dark Knight we knew from the comics.  Re-imagined for the screen, but only by degrees.  The tone, the themes, and most importantly the characters that made Batman great were present.  And right.  And the rest of the world liked it too.

There were others, of course.  Niche ones like Watchmen and Kick-Ass.  Flat-out imitators like Sky High and Zoom.  Blatant cash grabs like My Super Ex-Girlfriend and Superhero Movie.  But the point is this: It’s been over a decade since X-Men was released.  And amazingly, we are still here.

I just paid good money to see a movie about Thor (hear my thoughts on this Wednesday’s podcast!)  Not the regular old Norse god, I mean Marvel Comics’ Thor. What’s more, Sam Jackson shows up as Nick Fury, and there’s a three-line cameo by an Academy Award Nominee playing Hawkeye.  GODDAMN HAWKEYE.  The high school version of me never thought he would see anyone play Hawkeye outside of a convention.

And more are coming, folks!  We’re going to see a Captain America movie that contains the line “A weak man knows the value of strength.”  YES.  They get the character.  There’s a Green Lantern film that not only acknowledges the cinematically expensive proposition that there are thousands of other alien Green Lanterns, but actually makes them a central part of the plot.  The guy who did Firefly is directing an Avengers movie that will actually attempt to tie together Marvel’s cross-movie continuity in the same way the comics do.  These are pipe dreams made manifest.

That ad for the new X-Men prequel (which I hope is as weighty and thoughtful as its most recent trailer makes it out to be) made me realize that for ten years I’ve been holding my breath.  Waiting for the other shoe to drop and the superhero fad to end.  I don’t think that’s going to happen.  I think, at least for now, the dream has come true.  Superhero films are just another sub-genre.  An offshoot of fantasy, sci-fi, whatever you want to call it.  There will be good movies.  There will definitely be bad ones.  But there will be movies.  For the first time, we live in a world where it’s possible for the heroes we love on the page to come to life on the screen.

If this is just one big What If… story, nobody tell me.


May 6 2011

Something to Ponder Over the Weekend

Here’s country singer Charley Pride:

Here’s who /Film is reporting will play country singer Charley Pride in an upcoming biopic:

Allow me to be the first to say “…the hell?”


May 5 2011

Meanwhile, Back in Hollywood…

Gentlemen, thank you for seeing me today.  I know that for most of you, this time in the afternoon is usually reserved for brief, albeit intimate, encounters with your mistresses in some seedy little motel on Vine.  I can see that you’re all busy Hollywood producers, and time is money, so I won’t beat around the bush, which, as I’ve said, is what I’m sure many of you would rather be doing right now.

I’ve come to you today to ask for financing for a film I think you guys are really going to go for.  Now, as I’m sure you’re aware, the horror market is constantly rating high with the kids.  What I’m proposing is a return to the holiday themed horror film.  I know what you’re thinking.  Eli Roth is over at Miramax right now developing Thanksgiving and that last Halloween film Mr. Zombie made didn’t perform so well, but let’s not kid ourselves.  Nobody cares about those holidays anymore.  They’re yesterday’s news.  We need a new holiday, right?  And here’s my pitch: A Cinco de Mayo killer.

America’s Hispanic population is practically exploding and research has shown that most Hispanics have heard of movies.  Gentlemen, we’re talking about an untapped market here!  Now then, nobody on my staff seemed to know what Cinco de Mayo is really about, but we did discover that people like to drink.  So I’m thinking we open on a bunch of horny kids drinking, then some guy kills them all.  I don’t really have a title yet, but perhaps something along the lines of Sicko de Mayo might do the trick.

 Well, let me just wrap things up by saying how much I’m looking forward to working with each and every one of you.  Thank you very much for your time.  And now, I’d like to conclude by giving all of you the traditional Hollywood handshake, or as it’s better known, a blow job.

Happy Cinco de Mayo, folks.


May 4 2011

Critical Hit! | Bonus Blather

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No proper show this week, but here’s a quick fix of us blathering on about the Exorcist films, Thor, and Paul Rudd.

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May 3 2011

Finally! Hobbit News to (Kinda) Care About!

Yes, this is the least gayest picture I could find of Lee Pace.

Despite two cult shows, Lee Pace has managed to stay under the radar for quite a while now.  It’s not hard to see why.  Sure, I loved him in Wonderfalls and Pushing Daisies, but his film career has been lackluster and completely void of the charm he brought to those shows.   I’m looking at you, Possession, Marmaduke, and The Resident.

But 2011 looked to be a big year for our old pal Lee.  He managed to score a role in (ugh) the final two Twilight films.  And Sunday came the news that Peter Jackson has cast him in the long delayed upcoming Hobbit films.  This works, as not only does Lee already look somewhat like an elf (and indeed as he was cast an elf king or something equally nerdy), but maybe this will lead to more lucrative roles for him besides “Lead female’s boyfriend who dies in the third act”.

Time will tell.  God speed, li’l Lee! 

via Empire


May 2 2011

Wherever they need us, our destinies lead us…

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No, that headline isn’t a reference to any dead terrorists. The Three Amigos ride again thanks to a photo shoot and interview session by Empire Magazine. Badass Digest has a short behind-the-scenes video of the shoot which reveals that John Landis was on hand as well. Can’t wait to read the full article!


Apr 29 2011

Schwarzenegger and Fast Five Director attached to Next Terminator

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Makeup tests are underway.

We all knew it was inevitable, but it looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger will be returning to the Terminator franchise just as soon as he can get somebody to pay for it.  Apparently, Justin Lin of Fast Five fame is going to direct.

While I’m glad to see Arnold return to movies, I’m only now realizing that I don’t particularly want him returning to the Terminator.  I suspect that another Arnold Terminator would be the same old thing we’ve seen three times before, as opposed to the fairly inventive take that Terminator Salvation showed us when forced to do (mostly) without his involvement.

Sure, I’ll still see it, but I’d take another True Lies or even Predator before another Terminator, unless they find a new and interesting take on the concept.

[via /Film]


Apr 28 2011

Critical End! (The Podcast) #91: Tweetered Off

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REVIEWED: The King’s Speech. It’s still relevant, okay. PLUS: Bill & Ted & Twitter & Such.

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Apr 27 2011

Late podcast even later

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This has nothing to do with anything, except that I found it while searching for "late".

Sorry, folks. Our already late review of The King’s Speech will be a little bit later. But look for it tomorrow!

 


Apr 26 2011

Come Closer. I Can’t Hear You. Closer…

What’s that you say? Your old pal Logan so called the fact that Josh Holloway is playing a mysterious cowboy on the May 5th Community finale?  That’s right, I did.  And as proof, here’s a little teaser for you ladies:

TV Guide has more info, the most interesting news being that Josh is huge pals with Chevy and couldn’t wait to work with him again.  Of course, I already knew this, however, because most people seem to be under the impression that Chevy is some sort of asshole that nobody likes, I’m sure they’ll find it shocking.


Apr 22 2011

That Woman in Black Looks Suspiciously Like Daniel Radcliffe

Listen.  I like horror movies. I like Daniel Radcliffe in goofy period clothes.  I like black women.  So shouldn’t this be the best movie ever made?


Apr 21 2011

Coming This July…

Only one season to go!  Keep it up, Lionsgate!


Apr 20 2011

Critical End! (The Podcast) #90: The voice of a sexy generation

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REVIEWED: Scream 4. That’s…kind of it. We actually stay on topic the whole show!

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