Critical End!

It appears that some movie nerd (that wasn’t us) made a great map of the United States marked with which movie best represents each state.  This is one of those things that is so streets ahead that I really wish I had come up with it.  Drat.

Click pic to see your state

I’m really digging how many of these are the exact same films I would have chosen.  So…any disagreements?  Proud of your state film?

via CHUD

Folks, this has been a very confusing week for your old pal Logan.  First, the Cars 2 teaser leaves me scratching my head, and then just today a seemingly normal trip to my local comic book store erupted into chaos and mass confusion on my part when I noticed this sitting on the shelf:

At first I was just happy to see that they haven’t run out of obvious situations to place The Evil Dead’s Ash in yet.  Intrigued, I begin to flip through.  Not to give anything away, but it appears that Ash heads to a comic book convention which is also frequented by Barack Obama (and not some other black guy in a suit as the cover seems to imply).  Then the evil dead attacks or something.  Typical.  Ash and his old college pal President Obama can’t go anywhere these days.  Especially during an election season.  

In the end I decided to pass.  I love America.  Just not this much.

The teaser trailer for the upcoming sequel that nobody asked for Cars 2, is officially the first work from Pixar that has depressed me to no end.  Please announce in a few weeks that this was actually produced by Dreamworks:

What the hell is even going on here?!  Is this supposed to be some sort of Mission: Impossible spoof?  If so, you’re like a decade late on that, Pixar.  Oh, and I consider myself something of a fan of comedy, but can somebody PLEASE tell me what the joke is supposed to be?  Did I miss something (besides Cars 1 of course)?

Cars 2 will attack your good sense and wallet sometime next summer.  I’m sure it’ll be in 3D too, but c’mon, were you really planning on sending your kids to college?  I think not.

Guess who's single, ladies!

Wait, so Mel Gibson is going to have a cameo as a tattoo artist in The Hangover 2?*  What happened to moving back to Australia with his ex-wife and fighting wild dingoes?**  Will Gibson manage to once again sneak another comeback by us?***  Will he hopefully punch Zach Galifianakis in the face?****  And will I ever run out of goofy Mel Gibson photos to run?***** 

* It’s true.
** I made that last part up.
*** My guess?  Yes.  Yes, he will.
****Speaking of Galifianakis…
*****Nope:

Still single! Anyone? Hello?

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the state of comedy:

Yes, you are looking at the first picture of Adam Sandler as “Jill” from the upcoming romantic comedy Jack and Jill that we first told warned you about back here.  Clearly, this film will be the height of comedy…in 1998.

Welcome to an alternative 1985:

Needless to say, this is a clip of Eric Stoltz as Marty from the upcoming 25th anniversary Back to the Future Blu-ray release.  Kinda creepy, huh?

Did you watch any of the new episodes of Futurama?  I ended up hearing mixed things.  Ryan liked it.  Some fat guy I carpool with hated it.  But the feeling I got from most people was sort of a “I could care less” vibe. 

Now you can care less on DVD and Blu-ray starting in December.  According to IGN, Futurama Vol.5, the first set to contain the new episodes, is heading your way on December 21st.  This is (barely) just in time for X’mas, which is great news as it means I don’t have to pay for something that may very well end up sucking.  

Oh, and IGN is also telling me that the set is going to “span two discs”.  Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t the other sets have four or five?  Was the new season really that short?  Hmmm.

Compliment or complain about the new Futurama season in our comment section below.

“The best advice I can give you about falling is to never land.”
-Chevy Chase, 2010

Yes, it’s that time of year again.  Your pals at Critical End! would like to wish the happiest of birthdays to our dear friend Dr. Chevy Chase (he’s a doctor of being awesome).  Today he turns 67, folks.  67!  Can you believe that?!  It seems like only yesterday that he was reminding Danny to take drugs, bribing Frank Oz to let him cheat on an exam, and making a movie with either Benji or Goldie Hawn.

So, what has Chevy learned in those 67 years?  Only how to steal our hearts!  Oh, and some practical stuff too…practically funny stuff that is!  Okay, I’ll stop now and let Chevy speak for himself in this wonderful Esquire article from last month, Chevy Chase: What I’ve Learned.

Happy Birthday, Chevy.

Director Adam Green with Hatchet's Victor Crowley.

Although I don’t have an AMC theater in my neighborhood, I was excited to hear that they had agreed to start showing “Unrated” movies.  This is really something that’s overdue in the film community, as most filmmakers will tell you that the MPAA is basically a big joke run by Hollywood bullies (Case in point: This Film is Not Yet Rated and Matt and Trey’s battle with the MPAA over the South Park movie).

And now it looks like they’ve struck again…maybe.  Mere days after opening last Friday, AMC pulled Adam Green’s Hatchet II, and nobody seems to know why.  AMC released a statement saying, “At AMC theaters, we review all films in all of our theatres every week and then make our business decisions based on their performance.”  Gee, that’s nice and all, but do they realize that they didn’t even let this movie play for a week?  Writer/Director/Awesome Guy Adam Green stepped in with the most logical explanation: The MPAA is out to get him.

“All signs would point to AMC being unhappy with how vocal I was about the MPAA and not wanting to deal with the controversy- which if the case, is their given right. Had the film grossed millions, maybe it would be a different story with them,” he said in an early statement.  If true, this makes me pretty mad.  I’m not going to sit here and type a long rant about how corrupt the MPAA, mainly because it’s all been said before by people who are far more articulate than myself, but I will say this: Fuck you, MPAA.

via CHUD

Friday is Chevy Chase Day around the world, which means that this week I’m going to be talking about Chevy even more than usual! (Editors note: Apologies.)

I thought I’d kick things off right by talking about a little seen classic Chevy bit, such as this short one from the 1974 skit film The Groove Tube.  The film itself is just a lame, early version of The Kentucky Fried Movie, with Chevy only showing up twice (three times if you count his hands).  However, it’s worth digging up just to see him and pal Ken Shapiro perform “Four Leaf Clover”.  The two would later regroup to make Modern Problems.  I think we all know how that turned out.

Anyway, sorry for the VHS-ish quality of this video, but it’s the best one I could find.  You can always come over to my place if you want to catch it on DVD, complete with commentary and laugh track from me as well.  Enjoy!

Every five years or so Bret Easton Ellis reminds me why I love him.  Usually it’s in the form of a new book, but a few weeks back he did it in a new way: Parody.

While it’s easy to believe in the first few minutes that this promo for All That Glitters is an actual CW show, it soon veers into wonderful Ellis territory, then just becomes a flat out parody of his style and the type of shows that appear on the CW.  Oh, and MAJOR bonus points for getting Ellis to play himself.  I really hope he had something to do with the writing.

I have three celebrity heroes.  My goal in life is to some day meet each of them, shake their hand, look them straight in the eye, and simply say “thank you”.  After several years, I could only mark Ray Davies off of this list…until now.

Thanks to the power of the Internet, I managed to corner director Joe Dante on Facebook via his Trailers From Hell page and ask him the most obvious of questions: Can I have a tour of your garage?

His response, as posted on YouTube:

Granted, it’s not a handshake and a “Stay gold, Ponyboy”, but it’s a start!  I firmly believe that some day I will get that tour…seconds before the cops show up. 

Thanks, Joe!

Did you remember to buy your Community season 1 DVD set today?  You’ve only got a couple of days to watch all 25 episodes before season 2 premieres on Thursday.  Better get to work!

In addition to the first season release, it’s worth noting for all of you Community diehards out there that today is also the release date for the season 1 soundtrack.  Unlike most television soundtracks that feature incidental and background music, the Community album is notable for containing every song the cast performed this past season.  Tracks of interest include rockin’ party classics like “Pierce You Are a B”, three tracks from Chevy, Troy and Abed’s rendition of “Somewhere Out There”, and the full-length version of The 88’s Community theme.  Check out Amazon and iTunes for more info.

Off to watch season 1!  Happy Community week, kids! 

Suitable for framing

Did you remember to buy Boy Meets World seasons 1 to 3 on September 7th?  Well, if you didn’t then somebody did, as Lionsgate is going ahead with their plans to release season 4!  TVShowsOnDVD.com is reporting that all 22 episodes from the never before released season (see full story here) are arriving on December 7th.  That’s just in time for you to buy it for me!

Until then, why not catch up by buying seasons 1 through 3 on Amazon for only 12 bucks each?  That’s 67 episodes for less than 40 bucks, kids!

(Thanks to CE! reader Todd for the tip)

One of my favorite bad trailers of all time is My Bloody Valentine 3D.  The trailer does a fine job of advertising for the film; it’s not until the end of it when things go horribly awry.  You see, according to the trailer fire is going to fly out of the screen.  Observe this still:

“But wait, Logan, ya lovable trickster,” you say.  “That’s just advertising the fact that the film is 3D!”  Then I ask you: Why are the people looking up?  I’m no expert, but I don’t quite think 3D works that way, Lionsgate.

But it seems that Lionsgate never got my memo, as now they’ve gone and done it again with the new Saw 3D trailer.  No fire this time.  This time?  Oh, this time one of the characters is actually going to come out of the screen, reach into your theater, and pull you into the movie.  I’m not making this up.  Let’s watch:

People, this is blatant false advertising.  In fact, if I go to see Saw 3D and the theater has NOT equipped my seat with a spiky torture device thingy that comes over my head and locks me in place…oh, I’m going to be mad.