Critical End!

Lately I’ve been pretty rough on zombies.  Honestly, I’m just mostly tired of comedic zombie films.  I feel like I’ve seen it all.  That being said, I expect FearNet’s upcoming new show Zombie Roadkill to suck.  However, this teaser does anything but suck:

I love my girlfriend.  Who else would be willing to both make out with me and watch Cabin Boy in the same afternoon?  Granted, I think she laughs more at the thought of making out with me than she does at Cabin Boy, but I appreciate that she’s still willing to watch all of my favorite movies and shows.

Of course, I’d be a terrible boyfriend if I didn’t return the favor, which is why I just smiled when she asked if I wanted to watch the series premiere of the CW’s Hellcats with her.
“Couldn’t we just make out instead?” I asked.
“Don’t make me laugh, Logan.  Now put your pants back on.  The show’s starting.”
“Okay,” I sighed.  “But the pants are staying off, thank you very much.”

Six people with a combined total of three complete shirts.

Taking place in a post-apocalyptic future where the male population is hunted to extinction, Hellcats tells the story of- no, wait.  That’s not right.  Hellcats is about college cheerleading.  Aly Michalka (who my girlfriend tells me is from some Disney Channel show) and Ashley Tisdale (who I recognize as the girl from Disney’s High School Musical series, but with a different nose) star as two polar opposite cheerleaders who have to team up if they want to beat a rival college and save their college cheerleading program.  Aly’s Marti is a tomboy (hence the name “Marti”) who likes to do things her way, while Ashley’s Savannah is a stuck-up brat (hence the name “Savannah”) who likes to keep it by the books.  Can’t we all just get along?

HELLCATS! (in color)

Yes, it’s all very Bring It On, but for what it’s worth, the show knows that.  There’s even a rather clever training montage where Marti buys a copy of Bring It On and learns to cheer from watching it.  Sure, she is a bit too quick to fall for all of this cheerleading stuff (the episode opens with her verbally bashing the cheerleading squad and ends with her joining it), but I’m glad they didn’t waste my time over a series of episodes when we all knew the direction it was headed.

Meanwhile, Ashley Tisdale has the annoying, perky girl routine down pat.  Say what you want about her, but she knows how to play just the right amount of mean so that you still like her in a certain way.  Obviously, the fact that both of these gals are Disney kids helps, as they already know how to shake their combined bootys (booti?) when the show calls for it, which it does quite a bit.  I counted a total of three montages in 45 minutes, which may have been slightly unnecessary, but this is a show about cheerleaders after all.

In the end, it’s hard to come down on Hellcats.  Granted, I’m not the target audience for the show (it also doesn’t help that I’m hetrosexual), but it does just enough to make you want to keep watching, which is all I can ask from a CW show.  It hits it’s marks and even manages to land a few bases,  basket tosses, and cradle catches as well. 

That’s…um…cheerleading terminology, folks.

Not gay.

Hellcats Pilot Episode 
Rating:  6 out of 10

Welcome back, kids!  I trust you all had a great Labor Day weekend and didn’t almost die watching the new Danny Boyle film.  I thought about posting some of the usual crap to slowly ease you back into your working week, then I thought, “Screw it.  I’m going all out.”

Thus, I give you the first image from the upcoming Telltale Back to the Future game:

BAM!

Is that freakin’ awesome or what?!  Ryan gave us some of the first news on this five episode series back in June.  Word on the net is that the first episode of the game is going to come out sometime at the end of the year to coincide with the 25th anniversary release of the series on Blu-ray.

I can’t wait to play this game.  Hell, I’d play that picture if they put a Start button on it.  That’s how pumped the image has me for the game.  It also helps that I was almost expecting something more along the lines of this:

via CHUD

I already wasted time and web space making fun of the (sigh) Planet of the Apes prequel back in May, so let’s just get to the goods, shall we?  This is either the first photo from the set of Rise of the Apes, or some strange guy in a bodysuit following James Franco and his girlfriend home.

Decide for yourself in our comment section below.

via CHUD

I’m sure my friends are glad that the Emmys have come and gone, as now they no longer have to hear me talk about what a shame it is that none of the Community cast got nominated.  So, what was the cast of the best new show of last season doing instead of sitting in the Emmy audience waiting to hear their name called?  Doing car commercials.

But wait!  It was no where near as bad as it sounds.  I actually rather liked it…or perhaps I was just really in need of a Community fix until the new season starts.  See for yourself:

And as not to load this post down with with videos, here’s the links to part two and three on YouTube.  New season starts September 23rd!

Adam Green’s Hatchet was no work of art, but it completely delivered the “Old School American Horror” that the posters promised.  I left the theater thinking Green could be the next Eli Roth, and started wishing for a whole slew of quickly made Hatchet sequels, a la the Friday the 13th films in the ’80’s.

Three years and a few decent films later, Green is finally granting my wish.  And while the teaser trailer for Hatchet II spends most of it’s time reviewing the first film, I have to admit that I’m still very excited.  Let’s hope that this gets a wide enough release so I can catch it in theaters.

Remember Norm Macdonald?  He’s that guy who got fired from SNL for being funny, made two very awesome but unsuccessful films, then somehow ended up starring in his own sitcom on ABC.  Only in America, kids.

Although I haven’t seen it since it originally aired, The Norm Show (later renamed Norm), was must-see-TV for high school Logan.  The reason it worked was, quite simply, because it didn’t work.  Norm Macdonald was always the first person to point out that he couldn’t act.  He was also one of the most uncreative comedians around, often labeling things exactly how they looked (hence “Wiener Dog” as the name of his wiener dog).  Norm Macdonald had no business being on primetime, network television…but this is what made the show so awesome.

Shout! Factory, which I seriously cannot stop saying amazing things about, recently announced plans to release the complete Norm Show on DVD, which I find both exciting and scary.  Exciting because I remember loving this show and scary because I’m secretly afraid it’s not going to hold up.  But then again, there’s this clip, which alone is worth at least half of the $45 Amazon pre-order price.

Anybody else remember this show?  Thoughts?

Are you aware that we live in a world where a film like Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, arguably one of the funniest and most creative films of the year, bombs at the box office, while Vampires Suck opens as a certified hit?  What’s wrong with people?

I also find this surprising as I was under the impression that the Twilight series was already funny enough.  I mean, why bother with a spoof when the material being spoofed is funnier?  Case in point: Breaking Dawn.  Sure, it’s not even out yet, but if it ends up anything at all like the book, we’re looking at what might possibly be THE BEST WORST FILM EVER.  Ryan and I discussed it back in this podcast, but here’s the quick version in case you missed it:

It appears that ol’ wacky pants Mel Gibson is at it again.  EXTRA is reporting that this time he crashed his car into a hillside in Malibu last Sunday night.  According to CHP Public Information Officer Leland Tang, “Gibson told officers in the field he did not know how the car drifted out of the lane and into the hillside.” 

Gibson then went on to claim that he also didn’t know who made all of those calls to Oksana Grigorieva, where babies came from, or just what the hell a CHP Public Information Officer is exactly.

Gibson was heading home after a fishing trip in Fiji with his two sons after judging a Miss Thunderdome competition in Bartertown.

A few days back, Netflix signed a five year deal worth nearly 1 billion buckaroos to assure that the majority of their users will never leave home again.

Yes, starting September 1st, Netflix will begin streaming films from Paramount, Lionsgate, and MGM.  What does this mean to you?  Well, first off, you’ll finally get around to seeing Saw V.  Second, you’ll now be able to blow an entire weekend watching every James Bond film.  But most importantly, you’re going to be reminded why you have Netflix in the first place: Because that guy down at the video store makes fun of you for the movies you rent.  Not to your face…but you hear the laughing.  Oh, do I ever. You think you’re so funny, don’t you, Steve?  Well, laugh while you can, because soon it will be I who is laughing at you.

Anyway, we’re still going to have to wait 90 days on all new releases to hit the ol’ “Watch Instantly” queue, but with the amazing back-catalog of films that these studios have, there should be plenty to pass the time.  And I’m sure Netflix will make it’s $1 billion back in no time with all of the new users they get from this.  We’re talking mucho dinero, and probably some American money too.

via Yahoo!

FOX 5 News out of Atlanta was lucky enough to score an interview with both Jason Schwartzman and Michael Cera as they were traveling the country promoting Scott Pilgrim vs the World.  Honestly, I could care less what they said about the film.  What I really want to hear them talk about is the weather in Atlanta.

A million points to the FOX 5 News team for allowing this to happen.  I just hope nobody in Atlanta needed to know what the actual weather was like that day.

Little known fact: Before they hit the big time with CriticalEnd.com, Logan Lee and Ryan DiGiorgi served as presidents of the Boy Meets World fan club at their high school.  Sure, the hours were long, the pay meager, and the nights dateless, but they had a dream: To spread their love of the TGIF show to the masses by acting out a full episode every Friday during lunch hour.  Many love it, but most just thought they were gay.

A decade after it left the air, Boy Meets World is still one of the few shows not to see a full release on DVD.  A few years back, Disney, who then owned the rights under ABC, released seasons 1 to 3 to mostly lackluster sales.  Season 4 (the first season where the show really became aware of itself, thus funnier) was given a street date and even box art, but then dropped shortly after.  Disney finally realized that they could make more money by selling the show to another company.

And so Lionsgate ended up owning the complete Boy Meets World catalog.  Yes, we’re talking about the same Lionsgate that built it’s empire around the Saw films.  For a while nothing happened, but then a few months ago Lionsgate announced a re-release of seasons 1 to 3 (long out of print), and just a few days ago posted on Twitter a possible release date for the long awaited season 4.  Let’s hope they get around to the rest soon.

So what does all of this mean to you?  Nothing unless you’re a big fan of the show, or one of those people who won’t be happy until everything is on DVD or Blu-Ray.  Or you’re gay.  I’m just a fan, that’s all.  Swear. 

*shifty eyes*

There is a distinct possibility that I may have this framed above my bed.

             

Remember when Ryan told us all about the new Wile E. Coyote shorts that Warner Bros. plans to start placing in front of kids films?  Well, if you’re anything like me (and I assume you are, minus the raw sexiness), then you’d love to see a bit of it without having to pay to see Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore. 

Well, being that this is the internet and all, it was only a matter of time before somebody broke a bunch of copyright laws and posted a bit of it online.

I have to say: I’m loving it so far.

As we mentioned here, Community is arriving on DVD next month.  Here’s a peak at what you can look forward to:

MovieWeb is reporting that we’re going to get outtakes, longer, uncut episodes, AND cast and crew commentary on every episode.  That alone should be worth the 35 buck pre-order price on Amazon.

…there’s always the upcoming Saw 3D…

…which you plan to avoid completely unless your name is Logan or Ryan.